Bethany Joy Lenz has revealed that during her marriage to the son of a “cult” leader, she felt compelled to maintain a “sex schedule.” In a recent interview, the actress discussed the pressure and expectations surrounding her relationship, highlighting how it impacted her personal life.
Lenz described the experience as challenging, noting that the strict guidelines regarding intimacy contributed to feelings of discomfort and dissatisfaction. She reflected on how the dynamics of her marriage influenced her understanding of relationships and self-worth. Lenz’s candid remarks shed light on the complexities of her past and the importance of autonomy in personal relationships.
Bethany Joy Lenz, 43, recently discussed her past marriage to a man she referred to as “QB” during her time in a “high-control group,” which she described as a “cult.” In an appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast, she shared her feelings of having married the wrong person, reflecting on her decade-long involvement with this group in the early 2000s.
Lenz revealed that the strictures of her environment imposed considerable pressure on her personal life, including the aforementioned “sex schedule.” She emphasized the challenges she faced within the relationship, including the emotional and psychological toll it took on her. Her candid conversation highlighted her journey toward self-discovery and the importance of recognizing unhealthy dynamics in relationships.
Bethany Joy Lenz revealed that, due to intimacy issues in her marriage to QB, they were “asked” to create a “sex schedule.” Reflecting on her time in the “cult,” she described her initial relationship with QB as “playful and easy.” However, as time passed, the dynamics shifted, leading to challenges that significantly impacted their marriage.
In addition to discussing her relationship, Lenz also addressed the ongoing “feud” with her former One Tree Hill co-star Hilarie Burton Morgan during the podcast, sharing insights into their complicated history and how it has affected her.
Lenz acknowledged that, over time, she and QB discovered they “didn’t have a lot in common,” noting a lack of intellectual stimulation in their relationship. She felt constrained by her circumstances, stating, “I couldn’t date a non-Christian, and I couldn’t really date anybody outside of the group,” leading to what she described as “this sort of arranged situation.”
Despite having a “crazy sex drive,” Lenz expressed disappointment about saving herself for marriage, believing it would lead to a more fulfilling experience. She recalled feeling misled by the promise of “amazing sex and super deep intimacy,” ultimately labeling it “a big crock.” This realization contributed to her feelings of frustration and disillusionment within the marriage.
Lenz shared her emotional struggles during this period, expressing, “Then we have sex, and it’s like, ‘Why do I feel so sad? I don’t feel more connected to you. I feel farther away from you.'” This disconnection led to her being encouraged to follow a “sex schedule” as a way to address her lack of interest.
She described the advice she received: “Basically [they were] like, ‘You just have to do it. Just do it. This is your duty. This is your job as a wife. Your emotions will fall in line. If you do it enough, then eventually, you will find a way to enjoy it.'” This directive highlighted the pressure she felt to conform to expectations within the marriage, further complicating her emotional and physical connection with her husband.
Lenz recounted her struggles, saying she tried to “make it work” despite hating the situation due to the “so much at stake.” She described it as a routine she felt compelled to follow to maintain peace in her marriage. While filming One Tree Hill in Wilmington, she shared that her ex-husband frequently traveled to the Pacific Northwest and expected intimacy upon his return.
“My stomach dropped every single time,” she admitted, noting that this pressure negatively impacted her subsequent relationships. “I had so much PTSD from showing up at the airport to see him knowing that I was gonna have to start this sex schedule for the next, like two weeks or three weeks or whatever.”
Despite the difficulties they faced, Lenz expressed empathy for her ex, acknowledging the complexity of their situation and the challenges they both endured.
